Seriously, guys. My heart weeps a little bit. Last St. Patrick's Day = the best St. Patrick's of my life.
Here's to hoping we all get drunk and watch each other cry together again soon. K'08 - I love you all.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
from me to each of you
Seriously, guys. My heart weeps a little bit. Last St. Patrick's Day = the best St. Patrick's of my life.
Here's to hoping we all get drunk and watch each other cry together again soon. K'08 - I love you all.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Illusive Lesbinins
Developed via email messages during the work day by Brady, Lenya and Abbie.
Lesbinin – les – bi – nin -noun
- A woman who engages in sexual activities with other women, for fun
- "Yes homo", the version for the social constructed group called "women", "womyn" or "ladiezzz"
- A term for all things relating to "dyke culture", including but not limited to: anti-porn rallies, flannel, tegan & sara, muffins, mockery in the Gay Mart, T's, L-Word conventions, etc
Origin:
Earliest known usage is by Abigail Davis, a straight woman, to describe the more baffling portions of the activities of her 'lesbinin' friends.
Common Usage:
Often used as a term of endearment by straight girls explaining to other straight people that their womyn friends like vaginas. Ex: "this is my lesbinin friend," or "She's not into dicks - she's a lesbinin."
Most commonly used by straight people who do not understand lesbian culture and activities. Examples: "Oh you silly lesbinins wearing flannel, cuddling, and watching the L-Word in groups of 100+" or "Bitches be crazy, glad I'm not a lesbinin!"
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Feminism for Frat Boys
Netflix is everything good and right in the world. Through its awesome powers, my father and I were able to watch what was, without a doubt, the strangest B-movie I have ever seen: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.
The summary: The government hires a feminist at the local university to track down the Piranha Women living in the uncharted Avocado Jungle to convince them to move to a reservation condo in Malibu. She hires a guide at the edge of the jungle, a male chauvinist pig, and they have many arguments about men and women as they work their way in, and eventually confront the Piranha Women.
The so-called feminist in question? Played by a former Playboy Playmate. The chauvinist pig? Played by Bill Maher (yes, that Bill Maher).
Here are some delightful quotes I wrote down while I was dying of laughter/horror:
Bunny: Dr. Hunt, I just love your class!
Dr. Margo: Well, thank you, Bunny. You can call me Margo.
Bunny: I like it so much, I've been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn't sure if you had any feminist cooking classes.
Bunny: I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked. I suppose it isn't very liberated, is it? What kind of fantasies do feminists have?
Dr. Margo Hunt: Can I tell you a secret I've never told anyone before?
Bunny: Sure.
Dr. Margo: In a way, Jim is right; I am afraid of men. My relationships have been, well, I've had a lot of one-night stands. A little to drink, you know, give myself an excuse, then I subconsciously fall for jerks I know I'll never be emotionally involved with. It's all so empty, passionless, really. I guess deep down I'm afraid that there can never be any real respect or equality between the sexes, not really. I've avoided commitment because I'm afraid I'll be emotionally dominated by my lover or equally sad that I dominate him. I guess that seems kind of strange, huh?
Bunny: Can I tell you something too, Dr. Hunt, something I've never told anybody before?
Dr. Margo: Of course, Bunny, I'm glad we get to share this.
Bunny:Well, sometimes when I'm with a guy, I wish that he'd tie me up with red licorice ropes, and then spank me, and then he'd eat the ropes, and then he'd free me, and then we'd make love while the Philharmonic played "Bolero".
Dr. Margo: Thank you, Bunny, you've really put my thoughts in perspective.
--My Father: But that is the absolute worst version of Bolero!--
Dr. Kurtz: There's your sacrifice. If you wish to become a piranha woman you must first take his body, and then his life. What is your decision?
Dr. Margo: I refuse to kill another human being in cold blood. However, in deference to your cultural traditions, I would be willing to have sex with him.
For realz peoples, this exists. It was written and made into a movie, and while it is a B-movie, and thus inherently a giant joke, the shocking sincerity of at least two members of the cast makes me wonder what the author actually thought about feminists. This is exactly the sort of horror that I would love to dissect in a K classroom.
The summary: The government hires a feminist at the local university to track down the Piranha Women living in the uncharted Avocado Jungle to convince them to move to a reservation condo in Malibu. She hires a guide at the edge of the jungle, a male chauvinist pig, and they have many arguments about men and women as they work their way in, and eventually confront the Piranha Women.
The so-called feminist in question? Played by a former Playboy Playmate. The chauvinist pig? Played by Bill Maher (yes, that Bill Maher).
Here are some delightful quotes I wrote down while I was dying of laughter/horror:
Bunny: Dr. Hunt, I just love your class!
Dr. Margo: Well, thank you, Bunny. You can call me Margo.
Bunny: I like it so much, I've been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn't sure if you had any feminist cooking classes.
Bunny: I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked. I suppose it isn't very liberated, is it? What kind of fantasies do feminists have?
Dr. Margo Hunt: Can I tell you a secret I've never told anyone before?
Bunny: Sure.
Dr. Margo: In a way, Jim is right; I am afraid of men. My relationships have been, well, I've had a lot of one-night stands. A little to drink, you know, give myself an excuse, then I subconsciously fall for jerks I know I'll never be emotionally involved with. It's all so empty, passionless, really. I guess deep down I'm afraid that there can never be any real respect or equality between the sexes, not really. I've avoided commitment because I'm afraid I'll be emotionally dominated by my lover or equally sad that I dominate him. I guess that seems kind of strange, huh?
Bunny: Can I tell you something too, Dr. Hunt, something I've never told anybody before?
Dr. Margo: Of course, Bunny, I'm glad we get to share this.
Bunny:Well, sometimes when I'm with a guy, I wish that he'd tie me up with red licorice ropes, and then spank me, and then he'd eat the ropes, and then he'd free me, and then we'd make love while the Philharmonic played "Bolero".
Dr. Margo: Thank you, Bunny, you've really put my thoughts in perspective.
--My Father: But that is the absolute worst version of Bolero!--
Dr. Kurtz: There's your sacrifice. If you wish to become a piranha woman you must first take his body, and then his life. What is your decision?
Dr. Margo: I refuse to kill another human being in cold blood. However, in deference to your cultural traditions, I would be willing to have sex with him.
For realz peoples, this exists. It was written and made into a movie, and while it is a B-movie, and thus inherently a giant joke, the shocking sincerity of at least two members of the cast makes me wonder what the author actually thought about feminists. This is exactly the sort of horror that I would love to dissect in a K classroom.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
When in doubt, let the water run...
Dear Class of '08,
So it's Sunday night and you crave a party. Not just any party, but a costume/themed/dance party with strip flip-cup, circle of death and enough Jose Cuervo to initiate the friend make-out festivities that you feel are a completely natural expression of friendship.
While we can't produce a blog to quench that craving, we can fill a blog with amazing things that happen that make you think, "Oh my god, only someone from K has the right sense of humor and self-determined elitist attitude to properly appreciate what is happening in this moment."
I'll start:
My landlord posted on the front door to my building a sign that reads as follows,
"NOTICE TO TENANTS
Temperatures are dropping!
AVOID FROZEN PIPES: Please protect the plumbing in your unit by letting a trickle of water run from all the fixtures (sinks, tubs, showers) until the temperature rises above freezing.
This is most important if you are in a garden unit, or if your kitchen/bathroom is against an exterior wall.
When in doubt, let the water run... "
SERIOUSLY. That is what the sign reads - I stole it from the front door just to quote it.
I immediately checked wikihow to find out if running water was actually a solution to freezing pipes: http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-Frozen-Water-Pipes. Please note that wikihow only suggests running the water as a solution to keeping your pipes from freezing if there isn't electricity and you haven't properly insulated your pipes. I don't think the wiki author was anticipating my landlord asking me to use this as a permenant solution. Especially when Antartica is falling apart: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/22/science/earth/22climate.html?scp=2&sq=antarctica&st=cse. Poor polar bears.
So it's Sunday night and you crave a party. Not just any party, but a costume/themed/dance party with strip flip-cup, circle of death and enough Jose Cuervo to initiate the friend make-out festivities that you feel are a completely natural expression of friendship.
While we can't produce a blog to quench that craving, we can fill a blog with amazing things that happen that make you think, "Oh my god, only someone from K has the right sense of humor and self-determined elitist attitude to properly appreciate what is happening in this moment."
I'll start:
My landlord posted on the front door to my building a sign that reads as follows,
"NOTICE TO TENANTS
Temperatures are dropping!
AVOID FROZEN PIPES: Please protect the plumbing in your unit by letting a trickle of water run from all the fixtures (sinks, tubs, showers) until the temperature rises above freezing.
This is most important if you are in a garden unit, or if your kitchen/bathroom is against an exterior wall.
When in doubt, let the water run... "
SERIOUSLY. That is what the sign reads - I stole it from the front door just to quote it.
I immediately checked wikihow to find out if running water was actually a solution to freezing pipes: http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-Frozen-Water-Pipes. Please note that wikihow only suggests running the water as a solution to keeping your pipes from freezing if there isn't electricity and you haven't properly insulated your pipes. I don't think the wiki author was anticipating my landlord asking me to use this as a permenant solution. Especially when Antartica is falling apart: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/22/science/earth/22climate.html?scp=2&sq=antarctica&st=cse. Poor polar bears.
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